Looks like somebody has a case of the Mondays

I am not happy today. Last week was a tough week and I hope this week is easier to deal with. The week started with a vehicular breakdown. We currently have two vehicles, the old, old 1995 honda minivan that I drive and the 2003 ford that my wife drives. The Honda received a grim prognosis on her last visit to the mechanic. He told me to start shopping for a new car. Well, I still haven't won lotto yet, so a transportation upgrade is on hold. Of course, she is still getting me around town, and it was the Ford that decided to fail us.

As much as a "do it yourself" type of guy that I am, cars are where I draw the line, so when we have a breakdown like this, I tend to feel a bit helpless. I'm guessing that it's the transmission, but unfortunately, the transmission place we had it towed to said it would be ready last Thursday. Well, it's Monday now, and we still don't have our car back, which, at this point, is good, because that means we also haven't had to pay for the repairs yet.

Alright, let's skip back to the middle of last week... money was tight, with a looming repair bill (Still looming!) and we were preparing for a birthday party for our now 10 year old twin boys. I had planned to take last Friday off to help clean and get ready for the party, which was on Saturday. Money issues stress me out, and I don't really do the best job of communicating when that happens, so I had kind of locked up. I did let my wife know that I was having a hard time, but I didn't see the sense in letting my worries become her worries. We did talk it out finally, mainly so I could put her at ease that I wasn't upset with her.

My cat, in the mean time, stopped eating and was barely drinking. She's been a heavy cat and was diagnosed with diabetes years ago and has been on a special diet. She was interested in food, just not the stuff I was offering, so I gave her some turkey and then went out and got her some soft foods. She still didn't eat or drink much, but she seemed happy and was still the snuggly lover that came out of her shell once her sister passed away last fall. Well, thank God I had taken Friday off to clean. Mookie, my cat, puked up that morning. It was the first time she was really displaying any illness in all of this. She seemed to be ok after that and spent the rest of the morning on our bed.

I hung out with her for a bit, in between driving my mom to the hospital for a test and then going back to pick her up afterwards. When I got back, Mookie was still sleeping on my bed. I laid on the bed with my laptop, checking who knows what, and then got up to help clean. I heard Mookie let out a sad sounding "meow" and looked to see that she had moved over to where I just was on the bed. She then started shifting her weight off the bad, and it appeared if she was just going to drop, so I reached out and helped her down. She was dead weight, so I set her down on the ground and got my wife.

Mookie had limped off to the laundry room and into the base of the kitty tower we had in there. We called the vet and made an appointment to bring her in. She seemed to be breathing very rapidly and her tongue was kind of hanging out. I think she might have had a stroke. I asked my wife is she thought I should just let Mookie be, or if I should snuggle with her. My wife said I should go be with her, which I think I knew, but I needed to be told. Mookie never made it to the vet alive. She died in my lap as we drove there. It was a very emotional drive for us. Her breathing was erratic and was indicative that she was leaving us. I rubbed her belly and stroked her fur as I told her how much I loved her and how grateful I was to have had her be a part of my life. I scratched her head just the way I knew she liked it and told her it was ok to let go and be with her sister in kitty heaven.

I really believe I was able to help her pass on calmly. I miss her so much right now and wish so much that I could have spent a little more time with her. I hurt so much because she was such a wonderful part of my life. Goodbye Mookie